Be an idiot. Be free.

Be an idiot. Be free. Yes, that is what I have finally come to believe in whatever little experience I have had in my life so far. In my previous post, I had talked about success and happiness. And I had also talked about how people define the criteria of success for you. So what I observed next is an extension or the next step of what I told earlier.

Right from my childhood days when I was a school boy till very recently when I am in a professional career, I have seen one common pattern of behavior that most people exhibit. And that behavior is the exhibition of people getting overly defensive in a desperate act NOT to look or act like an idiot ! People are way too scared and way too embarrassed to be seen or perceived as an idiot by the outside world. This behavior is displayed in different manner by different people depending upon their mindset. Let me tell what those commonly observed signs are:
a. People get into a shell and never open up easily to the outside world.
b. People show a lot of aggression and become overly verbose in presence of other people.
c. People show more zeal to negate the opinions of others and to prove others worthless.
d. People go into either depression or suffer megalomania.
e. People consciously try to keep up with images and behavior pattern of other people whom they consider to be smarter than themselves.
The list goes on. But the crux of the matter is that people take the outside world's perception about themselves  too seriously and stop behaving normally.
Today, a whole generation is suffering from this phenomenon and believe it or not, multi-billion dollar businesses are set up around this phenomenon. If you have doubts on this statement, I suggest you pick any TV or print commercial today and try to have a slightly deeper look. Finally, in one way or other, they have something to do with your image. Image not as seen by yourself. But an image you present to the outside world which is nothing but a  perception people carry about you.Makeover is a big time business. You are only as good as what your impression is. But be it home or office, school or college, marketplace or a party, you CAN NOT afford to be perceived as an idiot.You have to speak in a certain way, behave in a certain way, look a certain way, dress up a certain way, eat a certain way and even SMELL a certain way just to ensure that you project the right image.
Believe it or not, this phenomenon is growing and going to impact us and the future generations adversely. The million dollar question is that how can you get rid of this trap. And here is when I felt so strongly about the need to be an absolute idiot and break free from this trap of expectation. One needs to accept self very graciously in as is / where is status.Being an idiot does not mean consciously start acting in a stupid manner. But it essentially means getting rid of the habit to try and fit an image outside world has decided for you. It also means following the goodness of your heart and accept its stupidities with utmost grace. I would like to know if  this makes some sense for those who have bothered to read this post. But let me tell you - in case you find it a total non-sense, please tell me so. It still allows me to be an idiot in front of you and a free spirit !!

Serenity

A picturesque location from China. I would like to visit this place someday ...

Success and happiness

Success. We chase it all the time. More importantly, we link our happiness to it. Our happiness depends on it so heavily. So heavily that our existence starts losing its meaning without success. In fact the quest for success in life becomes the sole aim for our existence. 

So what is success? I wish I knew it in definite terms. But let me make an attempt. Success to me is being able to attain what I aimed to attain. And this is a very loose definition. So being able to reach the office when I want to reach there be called a success? I am sure people would laugh at this statement. So may be that people are also linking success with the degree of difficulty associated with attaining / achieving what you aimed at. Okay, so I will make another attempt. Is being able to reach office in time during rush hours be termed as success? ... Hmmm...People are still going to smile at this statement. In that case, probably it is not just the degree of difficulty to achieve. A success is a success only if fewer people can achieve it. So what about commuting to office which is located in a city some 100 km away? Will it then qualify for being termed as success? NO? Ohhh people are just impossible to please. So what more? Success should bring rewards as well. Else it is not a success. To sum this up, commuting everyday to an office 100 km away during rush hours is NOT a success !!

The whole point which I keep getting is that it is the people around you who keep defining what your success should look like. And no matter what you do, they will keep changing the parameters of success for you. It ends up like chasing a moving target or a mirage. You attach your happiness to this moving target. And the target would have changed when you reach there. And happiness remains still so elusive. And you remain exasperated as ever!!

My take on this whole concept of success and happiness is that they should be treated as two mutually exclusive entities. A person has the basic right to be happy and remain happy irrespective of his score in the success department. Success definitely brings joy and associated benefits. But it can not be the reason to feel deprived of happiness in absence of success. Any views from any one?

Anxiety - a relentless stalker

Anxiety is such a creepy word. I always have the feeling that it keeps looking for me all the time. It follows me like paparazzi! I kind of feel funny about this whole feeling of being stalked by a not a person but an emotion. And it keeps coming to me in all possible places, situations, times, season, month, and what not :-)

Guys do not have stalkers. That is essentially a girl's privilege. So God created anxiety to stalk the men!! 

On a more serious note, I would like to admit that I get caught in a maze whenever I try to deal with this phenomenon called anxiety. But what I have figured out is that "wait" is perhaps the most common root cause for anxiety. If you are waiting for something to happen or hoping for something not to happen, either ways you are likely to get it. Unsure outcomes of future are the most likely causes for anxiety. It can keep you worried till the time you face the outcome.But regardless of  nature of the outcome, it can eat your precious time and happiness.

I am still unable to figure out a sure shot way to deal with anxiety. But the only way out is to try to switch off and get into some bigger task to keep you busy. Can someone tell me if they have found a way to handle this relentless stalker? I want to know the way. I will be anxiously waiting till the day someone posts me a good solution :-)